Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Cockney violence marred by footballing outbreak

There was surprise last night after a football match broke out during a violent assault by a bunch of cockneys on another bunch of cockneys to decide which cockneys were hardest.

The violence occurred between two groups of psychopathic cockneys, each with a penchant for football teams separated by a few hundred yards.

One football hooligan told us, “When those cockneys come onto our manor, us cockneys see it as taking a fackin’ liberty.”

“So we rounded up those cockneys, and us cockneys gave those other cockneys a right good hiding.”

The violent confrontation was marred by a 3-1 victory for West Ham, in an unprovoked football match which broke out in the midst of the savage fighting.

“It was disgusting, I could hardly see this one cockney having his head repeatedly rammed into a plastic seat because of these blokes in bright shirts kicking a ball backwards and forwards in front of me.”

“My ticket put me almost 100 yards away from the real action, so all I could see were athletic men running around and the odd goal.”

“If I wanted to see that sort of behaviour, I wouldn’t support Millwall, would I?”

Organisers of both ‘firms’ have been quick to denounce the behaviour of West Ham and Millwall football clubs.

“How are we supposed to finally decide which is the tidiest set of cockneys if they insist on playing football right in the middle of our fights?”

“Is it any wonder attendances are down and proper cockneys are falling out of love with the game when their clubs behave like this?”

Both firms have claimed victory, and the fight is due to go to a replay at the earliest possible opportunity.

Thaks to Actin the Sham from the PROC!


The Editor said...


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    I'm a DJ from Cork in Ireland. I work with RedFM, presenting Red Drive, The Hitlist and my specialist show, Black on Red. I'm probably best known for being one of the main hip-hop/soul DJ's in Cork and Ireland. I've been DJing in Cork since the early 90's in legendary clubnights such as Sweat in Sir Henrys, Mor Disco, Free La Funk, Yo Latino and also Jam and Jam Junior at the Savoy and the Pavilion. I've also held down long term residencies at clubs around Ireland such as Brown Sugar at the Kitchen in Dublin, U-Turn at Ri Ra in Dublin, Jazz Juice at the GPO in Galway, Thompson Garage in Belfast, the Soul Clinic, Dee-Bop, Meltdown and Mo Bounce in Limerick and i've played abroad in the United States and the U.K. on numerous occasions. I also write a music column for the Evening Echo and i'm a regular contributor to the U.K.'s Blues and Soul, the longest running black music magazine in the world. These days i run the Pavilion, a music venue in Cork, which hosts my Jam night every few Fridays also you can catch me at